Minecraft is a creative hub where everyone is free to do whatever they want. And it is also the best-selling game of all time. A film adaptation of such a popular product was only a matter of time, and its commercial success was almost guaranteed. But how do you make a film based on a game that has no plot? Well, five screenwriters at once tried to answer this question, dedicating the film to friendship and creativity. What was the answer? We figure out in the review “Minecraft in Cinema”.
I am Steve
The story begins with office clerk Steve (Jack Black), obsessed since childhood with the dream of being in a mine, in the prime of life and a midlife crisis, deciding to finally close his gestalt. In the dungeon, he finds a magical sphere (in the shape of a cube, of course), with which he opens a portal to the Overworld of Minecraft – where he can finally give free rein to his creative nature, whose aspirations boil down to two simple words: “mining” and “crafting”.
His “hakuna matata” could last forever, but curious Steve discovers and opens a portal to the Nether – the realm of piglins, pig-like orcs from the local World of Minecraft.
They are led by Malgosha, a female version of Gul’dan who not only looks but also acts like the orcish shaman from the Blizzard games. Her career as a dancer failed miserably in childhood, and since then Malgosha hates everything related to creativity. Anyone who dares to show interest in creation will face certain death.
The Piglins have ravaged and drained the Nether of all resources, and now, thanks to Steve’s stupidity, they intend to enslave the Upper World to get their hands on minerals and destroy the last bastion of creativity. And that’s where the Earth team of “time-travelers” comes in, including Jason Momoa, Emma Myers, Sebastian Hansen, and Daniel Brooks.
Jason Momoa plays Garrett “Garbage Man” Garrison, a grown-up, infantile gamer and arcade champion who rides around town in a pink jacket, convinced that he is a businessman and a guru of “successful success.” Like any self-respecting guru, he is deeply in debt, and traces of his former glory can only be found in old photos.
The film is a classic adventure about friendship, the power of creativity, and the search for an artifact in the name of the victory of good over evil in a fairy-tale world. All of this fits into the framework of a children’s film based on a game, and based on such introductory information, the film can really be forgiven a lot. But even the next day after watching it, I still couldn’t understand how a film that glorifies creativity and the desire to be “not like everyone else” turned out to be so formulaic.
Simple and tasteless
Let’s leave aside the fact that the plot follows a classic three-act structure, and the script relies on the painfully familiar tropes of the “hero’s journey”: the hero hears a call, leaves the ordinary world, faces difficulties, undergoes a transformation and returns back. This is the pattern most blockbusters follow, including some truly outstanding ones. Oddly enough, there is no problem with this.
The problem is the endless stupidity of everything that happens in this film, which is exaggerated even by the standards of frankly children’s projects. The characters are boring and inexpressive, unless, of course, you count the acting antics of Black and Momoa, competing for the title of alpha male in the squad, as “expressiveness”.
The female part of the cast is needed here solely to save idiot men from themselves. And only the conventional “main character” Henry actually undergoes at least some kind of transformation, coming to terms with his passion for engineering.
Another strange decision was the storyline of Jennifer Coolidge, the same Stifler’s mom from American Pie, in whose life, it seems, nothing has changed since then. Now, however, she is trying to get into bed a big-nosed villager who accidentally got into the real world through a portal. It seems that she was written into the plot only to evoke at least some emotion in the parents who were dragged to the session by force.
But even in this vein, it doesn’t work – because, damn it, it’s a kids’ movie. However, this did not stop the authors from inserting a scene where Momoa and Black fly on wings in the “69” position. And believe me – this is far from the “peak” of local humor.
The jokes in the film follow the same formula: one character says what not to do, and a second later another character does exactly that. When Black warns not to step on traps, Momoa immediately activates them all. Often, jokes are repeated twice, to make sure everyone understands: yes, it was a joke. Maybe that’s why kids laugh.
The writers took this formula to the extreme, and when the joke was repeated for the third time, I finally grinned – the only time in the entire film. But only because of how desperately the writers believe that it should work.
And of course, what kids’ movie would be complete without Disney-style musical numbers? Jack Black grimaces and sings. Momoa, unfortunately, too. The kids have fun, the adults – it’s painful. At least thank goodness these episodes don’t last long. Black even managed to perform below his level with jokes, but as if that weren’t enough, he decided to sing… four times. Okay, why am I always talking about the bad – there must be something good, too?
World of Minecraft
There is still something good here. Namely, the world of Minecraft itself. If you put aside all seriousness and dive headlong into the adventure, you have to admit: I liked that same cubic world transferred to the big screen. It is bright, colorful and, as befits a creative sandbox, looks interesting and not boring – although the living actors inscribed in this background look alien. However, perhaps it should be so.
Juicy cubic landscapes, familiar objects from the game and references to gaming memes – all this is carefully placed by the authors at every step to the delight of fans. The familiar loading screen, the twenty-minute daily cycle, the pink sheep, the soundtrack from C418 and Lena Raine, the use of a bucket of water to soften the fall and, of course, a pig in a crown – a tribute to one of the most famous Minecraft YouTubers, Technoblade, who left the Overworld in 2022 due to cancer.
All of this will surely please the game’s diehard fans. But if Minecraft is just some kind of “cube game” for you, you’ll see a lot of weird stuff that doesn’t make sense behind the scenes. However, the simplicity of the story allows it to be understood even by those who don’t understand a single reference.
Playing on the consonance of Minecraft and Warcraft, the authors go further: in addition to the external similarity of the queen of the piglins with Gul’dan, they literally recreate the opening of the Dark Portal and the invasion of the orcs into the world of people – only here the invasion takes place in the Upper World.
At first, these flirtations with the audience are captivating, but soon the understanding comes: this entire plastic world is just a shell stretched over another generic film about friendship and saving the world. And the creativity that is so much talked about here remains behind the scenes, because even crafting, the main feature of the game, is used extremely limitedly.
Diagnosis
The verdict, like the story in the film, is obvious and predictable. If you try to put yourself in the shoes of a Minecraft-fan child, perhaps the film version isn’t so terrible. Especially if you cross out the completely unnecessary “Stifler’s mom.” Grimacing adults, straightforward humor, bright pictures, lots of references to the game, and a schoolboy who no one understands — it’s a perfectly workable scheme to keep the same schoolchildren glued to their screens.
But it so happens that the author of this text is already over thirty, and most of our readers are well over 25 – so I will say frankly: the Hollywood conveyor belt has once again produced a movie that, under the guise of glorifying creativity, hides its own fear of original ideas. This is a commercial product of exceptional impudence, lazily assembled according to manuals based on the “hero’s journey”, created with the sole purpose of luring children and their parents to movie theaters with the help of a popular brand.
Jack Black once again proves his status as a “black mark” for live-action adaptations, and Jason Momoa in all his glory demonstrates how much he enjoys playing a grown-up guy who is not distinguished by his intelligence and quick wits.
P.S.
But I’d still like to end on a positive note. As you know, the film had a record-breaking start in the history of video game adaptations, earning $301 million in its first weekend and overtaking “Super Mario Bros. Movie”. The main audience is children and teenagers. Because children don’t read criticism. They see the words Minecraft – and go to the cinema.
Sometimes I think we adults should learn from them: be happy that your favorite game world has come to life on the screen, even if it is not in perfect condition. Sometimes we are too harsh on game adaptations, but sometimes it is enough to simply admit: “this product was not created for me” and pass by without trying to spit in the authors’ backs.
So it is with “Minecraft the Movie”: it has its own audience, for whom it was created. These children do not care how much the script corresponds to what Robert McKee bequeathed in his “Million Dollar Story” – they clap for Steve, chant “Chicken Jockey!” and enjoy life. And we can only quietly envy … or try to resurrect in ourselves this childish superpower – to sincerely enjoy the simplest things.
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All images in this material are copyrighted by Mojang Studios / Warner Bros. Pictures. Games uses them for informational and research purposes and does not claim ownership of them.
